So, I’m guessing a lot of you have heard of the book The Happiness Project: Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (how’s that for a title?) by Gretchen Rubin. It’s been on the New York Times Bestseller list and gotten its fair share of buzz. I read the book in December and was motivated to work on my own happiness project, a la Rubin. This means that every month, I have a theme and, within that theme, a handful of measurable resolutions. The goal is to make myself happier, to invite joy into my life in ways that I can control.

This month, my theme is Patience. Such an important virtue when you are dealing with little ones, whether at home or in the classroom. I’ve had too little of it recently with my children and that is not the kind of mother I want to be. And impatience certainly does not contribute to my happiness or the joy in our home–it detracts from both in a major way. Here are my goals for the month (all recorded on a handy chart where I can check my progress each day):

  • Use a Calm Voice
  • Use Gentle Hands
  • Say “Yes”
  • Limit Computer Time

Simple, right? But having these precise, attainable, measurable resolutions, and a way to keep track of my progress, makes all the difference. Last month, when my theme was A House of Order, the goal I ended up loving the most was “Clean the Kitchen Every Night Before Bed.” Did I do it every single night? No. But I did it way more than I used to and it made such a huge difference in my life. Going to bed knowing that my kitchen was clean and waking up to clean dishes and counters truly did bring happiness into my life.

This month’s resolutions are all about these guys:

Welcome to winter.

And I want to be the best mom possible for them.

Back to this month. A lot of my inspiration for these goals comes from the book Parenting a House United: Changing Children’s Hearts and Behaviors by Teaching Self-Government by Nicholeen Peck. One of the main principles of the book is the power of calm. If we can teach our children to react and behave calmly, our homes and their lives will have so much more peace. But the clincher is, we have to master that ability ourselves before we can expect it of anyone else. So, I am going to focus on always using a calm voice (even when I’m correcting or disciplining) and gentle hands (I never want to touch my child in a way that makes them afraid or could possibly hurt them). The calm voice is a big one for me–it’s so easy to let that impatience creep in to my tone.

Next are two things that I hope will make my interactions with my children more joyful and give me less reason to be impatient in the first place. I have found that I’m the most impatient when I’m trying to get something done and one of the children wants my attention. Honestly, whatever I’m trying to get done is usually not that big of a deal. So, I am going to practice saying “yes” as often as I can (as long as the request is reasonable). For instance, if Monkey asks to read a book with me when I’m reading my own book, I will say, “Yes.” I’m hoping this will make us all happier. They get the time with me and I get the time with them. A win win. I’m also going to work on limiting the time I spend on the computer while they are awake. Whatever I’m doing on the computer can always wait until later and I will get less frustrated if I work on those kinds of things when they are asleep and not begging for my attention.

So, that’s the plan, folks. I’ll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck!

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